For anyone following my posts and art and birth-related existential meanderings,⁣
it may be somewhat obvious that I tend toward⁣
extreme juxtaposition. ⁣

⁣I’ve been crying a lot lately. ⁣
The weight of all that is going on in a macro and micro sense is overwhelming me of late. ⁣Covid is still here. ⁣
People are suffering, dying, murdering, ⁣
and being murdered. ⁣

⁣My partner’s career is disappearing and we’re about to have a third baby. ⁣
I have no idea where money will come from, ⁣
how my mental health will be affected by postpartum, ⁣
how homeschooling will work, ⁣
how to keep the bills from drowning us, ⁣
how to keep our house, ⁣
our sanity, ⁣
our nebulous bubble of family love and joy and hope ⁣
that keeps us just above water. ⁣

⁣And yet, I must prepare myself, ⁣
for birth, ⁣
for rebirth, ⁣
I am again becoming a Phoenix. ⁣
We all are. ⁣
We will rise from the ashes that was/is our reality into....⁣
Something else ⁣
Something new⁣
Something better? ⁣
There’s that hope again. ⁣
Let’s hold onto it, shall we?⁣

⁣I shot this last week, ⁣
Preparing myself for the completely ⁣
un-self conscious surrendering to whatever my body wants to do.⁣

⁣The dance of birth is, ⁣
must be,⁣
reckless, free, awkward, and beautiful ⁣
and just outside of our control, ⁣
just beyond our fingertips, ⁣
bliss.

#29weeks